Sunday, February 17, 2008

~ 20 September 2006 ~

Aku masih ingat saat-saat masa mak menghembuskan nafas terakhir..... Few months ulang-alik dari rumah ke hospital, tak senang duduk dibuatnya. Aku cuba untuk kuatkan semangat.. But in the end, I just break down and cry.. The doctor didn't tell us until last minute - 1 day before she passed away that dah takde harapan untuk dia hidup. Diorang dah buat yang terbaik..

I was in the office when ayah called. I know that there must be something wrong.. Sambil menangis, ayah told me apa yang doctor cakap. So I rushed to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, in the taxi I was crying like nobody's business.. Everybody start calling me - abang Bujang, Peteh, Pecu, Atuk, abang Rahim.. Semua bagi kata-kata semangat. Lagi la aku menangis sebab aku tau mak hidup pun takkan lama.. Sampai aje kat hospital, mak senyum tengok aku datang. Dia tanya kenapa aku ambik cuti? Aku bagi alasan aku sakit kepala.. Satu perkara tentang mak yang aku takkan lupa sampai bila-bila - Walaupun dia sakit, dia tak suka menyusahkan sesiapa. Aku cuti pun dia tak bagi.. Dia selalu cakap "kalau Liza sayang mak, tak payah la cuti. Ayah ada, dia boleh jaga mak".. Hari tu aku luangkan masa dengan mak, borak-borak dengan dia.. Bila dah malam, dia suruh aku balik sebab ayah temankan dia kat hospital malam tu. Sebelum aku balik, aku cium pipi dia.. Then dia tarik tangan aku. Dia usap kepala aku.. Dia pandang aku sambil tersenyum, dia cakap "mak sayang Liza.. Mak dah lama ampunkan salah silap Liza dengan adik-adik.. Satu lagi mak pesan, Liza jangan berubah hati. Jaga Ben elok-elok.. Jangan bagi dia marah.." I stopped myself from crying in front of her..

The next day ayah called.. Dia menangis lagi.. Mak merengek nak balik. Nak meninggal kat rumah katanya.. Lepas berbincang dengan doctor, ayah brought her home. Mak sampai kat rumah roughly at 5.30pm.. Mak dah tak sedar dah waktu tu.. Keluarga semua dah ada. Ada yang menangis.. Ada yang murung.. Ada yang sibuk nak bercakap dengan aku.. Aku tak tahan nak join the crowd, tersangat la huru-hara. So aku masuk bilik mak, aku duduk sebelah dia. Slowly aku bisik kat telinga dia kalimah "lailahaillallah"..

Aku bergilir-gilir dengan adik-adik duduk sebelah mak. When it was not my turn, aku call all family members yang takde kat situ untuk bagitau keadaan mak. Then suddenly I heard everybody was crying loudly.. Aku berlari masuk bilik. Kaki mak dah sejuk.. Tak tau macam mana nak cakap perasaan aku masa tu. Tepat pukul 6.40 petang, depan mata aku dan semua orang yang ada kat situ mak menghembuskan nafas terakhir..

Sampai hari ni, terngiang-ngiang di telinga segala nasihat mak.. Dengan nasihat mak itulah aku bertahan.....

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

CRUELLA - is NOT my middle name!

I'm not a bad person.. My words sometimes may be sound harsh, but I didn't mean any of it. The reason why I said those things is because I love THEM! I don't want them to fail.. Deep inside my heart I want to see them successful in their own way..........

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Dear Ben.....

I'm engaged to Ben (bukan nama sebenar :D hahahahahahaha!) for 6 months already.. Eventhough baru lagi, tapi aku rasa macam dah 6 tahun.. We've been through a lot - happy moments.. Difficulties.. Semuanya mengajar we all erti SABAR and we all cukup masak dengan perangai masing-masing...

Ben is the 1st guy in my life that arwah mak approved. Seriously aku penat!.. Ada aje yang tak kena with all my EX-es. Aku pernah cakap kat arwah mak "
semua boyfriend Liza mak tak suka, Liza tak payah kahwin la kalau macam ni.." *sigh* At that time I was young, aku ingat semua yang aku buat tu betul.. And she always said to me "It's not the time yet for you to get serious with anybody, you'll find someone better. Trust me!" Alhamdulillah.. 1st time aku bawak Ben jumpa arwah mak, dia suka. I still remember her face when I introduced him to her.. Tersengih sampai ke telinga :) 1 day before she passed away, dia sempat pesan kat aku.. "Liza jangan berubah hati. Jaga Ben elok-elok.. Jangan bagi dia marah..".....

ps. I really hope that our relationship will last forever :)


Tiring weekend

Last Friday while having my early dinner with Ben and Leen, I received a phone call from ayah telling me Siti pengsan kat Carrefour Wangsa Maju!! I was like, baru tadi we all hantar dia kat Setiawangsa lrt station. Dia OK aje, macam mana boleh pengsan?! Aku terus call Syaz (Siti's boyfriend).. He told me masa tengah jalan-jalan tu, she wanted to go to the ladies. Nasib baik adik perempuan Syaz pun ada masa tu, so Siti went to the ladies with her.. According to the sister, suddenly Siti suruh stop jalan kejap sebab dia sakit kepala. Then terus dia jatuh.. Semua orang dah panic la!!

Ben, Leen and me rushed to Carrefour.. Risau jugak sebab Siti tak sedar-sedar. Sampai aje kat Carrefour, belum sempat kereta berhenti aku dah bukak pintu and jumped out.. Dangerous, I know.. But masa tu aku dah tak fikir apa dah. I heard Ben screamed something to me.. Typical. Hahahahahahaha!..

Anyway, aku terus berlari to the emergency room which is located beside the entrance yang kat foodcourt tu. Ambulance pun dah sampai.. When they saw me, diorang ke tepi sikit. Ha, ni kakak dia.. Ni kakak dia.. Aku tengok Siti tengah baring, belum sedar lagi. Baju dia basah, ntah berapa banyak air diorang tuang kat budak tu.. Then, one of the nurse dengan suara yang sangat irritating said to me "Mata dia gerak-gerak ni. Dia malu kot nak bukak mata.." And I said to her "Well, I don't care dia malu ke, apa ke.. Dia ada apa-apa ke.. Dia takde apa-apa ke.. Just bring her to Ampang Puteri!! Kalau takde apa-apa we'll bring her home!" My voice was very high, I think I startled semua orang yang ada kat situ.. So what if I sounded rude? Kalau malas, berhenti keje.. Dia bukannya doctor! Hmmpphhhhhh!..

So sampai kat hospital, lepas doctor check on her and everything Siti dah boleh bukak mata.. But the doctor nak Siti admitted sebab nak buat scan. Then nak biar Siti rest dulu.. According to the doctor, Siti maybe pengsan due to lack of rest and stress..

Malam tu aku dengan Nadzirah tidur kat hospital temankan Siti.. I can't sleep that night, coughing non-stop *sigh* Dah makan ubat batuk pun still batuk tak hilang.. 2nd night Siti kat hospital, Nadzirah sorang temankan dia. I went to rumah Pecu - studying, buat assignment, tolong Pecu buat kerja rumah sikit-sikit and melayan Syafiqah dengan Sabrina..

ps. Esok kerja. Urgggghhhh!..

Friday, February 8, 2008

1st Meeting

Had a meeting - our very 1st meeting regarding my wedding preparations at rumah Atuk in Kampung Pandan.. Everybody was there - Enche & abang Rahim, Peteh & kak Syikin, Pecu, Atuk, Ben and me.. Pak Ngah and Mak Ngah aje yang takde coz diorang kat Penang. But nevermind, we will update them later on what they have to do - which is nothing!! ;) Anyway.. Lama jugak we all duduk berbincang, from A to Z. We plan to do my reception nanti kat Dewan Kampung Pandan masa 25 October tu nanti. Nikah will be in the morning, and the reception will be at night.

Things that we discussed :

Bedroom set - have to buy 1 since Ben and me will be staying kat rumah Atuk after the wedding..

Pelamin package - Wedding Fairies. Nak tunggu Ben free to meet them..

Kad kahwin - need to go to a few places to get the best price..

MC - Abang Rahim will ask Nash to be the Master of Ceremony. Will confirm later..

Gift for the guests - Abang Rahim nak sponsor hadiah untuk VIPs (yay!).. Untuk tetamu biasa, bakal pengantin perempuan yang akan handle ;)

Tentang aturcara majlis, roughly what are we planning to do is - my reception akan berlangsung lepas Isyak. Tetamu start datang at 8 o'clock.. Aku nak buat buffet, so semua tetamu boleh makan sementara nak tunggu pengantin sampai. Lepas pengantin sampai, we all akan naik terus ke pelamin. After that, the 1st performance (Dia Datang) will start.. Follow by upacara merenjis and 2nd performance (Asmaradana). Then pengantin akan turun makan.. (Ben siap dah warning aku jangan makan macam setahun tak makan!) Hmmmphhh! Well, lauk-lauk pengantin mesti sedap-sedap kan?? Membazir tu amalan syaitan *sigh* Lepas aku dah KENYANG, baru ada sesi ambik gambar.. Since aku plan nak ambik band, there will be joget lambak towards the end :)

Monday, February 4, 2008

No girl can have enough bags...

I really can't say no to handbags.. Aku realize about my "weakness" ni since last year, when I went to GUESS (aku tak bersalah, Ben yang ajar!) sebab Ben nak beli shirt.. Then I saw this lovely handbag on the display - black colour and big size.. I was staring at it for at least 10 minutes, suddenly I heard Ben asked me "you suka ke?" I was like, "kalau dah ternganga mulut I tengok handbag ni, mesti la I suka kan?!" Hmmpphh!! (Ben baik hati, in the end dia belikan aku handbag tu) ;)

Since then, aku memang pantang nampak handbag!.. Ben dah start panic.. Hahahahahahaha!. Bukannya aku suruh dia belikan pun, aku tengok aje.. :D The most expensive handbag yang aku ada is COACH - RM 1200 which I bought in KLCC. Memang dah lama aku teringin nak beli, tapi sebab harga dia mahal sangat aku relax dulu.. Bila duit dah cukup, tu yang berani nak beli tu..


Last week I ordered a document bag from The French Cat @ Facebook. Bag ni sesuai untuk bawak pergi class since I'm still studying. Boleh isi buku-buku and even a laptop.. It arrived at my office this afternoon, dah cukup untuk buat aku tersengih dengan lebarnya..........